Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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