she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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