another moral hangover. fuck.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
