I smell stomach acid.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
