BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
