I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
this hospital has no fireball
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
