Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Randomize
