I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
