Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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