...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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