I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
