I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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