If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
