shes about as inviting as chlamydia
sarcasm needs its own font
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
