no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
