I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize