Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
