He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I want you more than these girls want KFC
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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