So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
