Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He has the fingertips of a God
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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