just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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