Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
