Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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