After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
