It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
