the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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