Duck Duck Cougar?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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