He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
