Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
