dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I smell like Dick and happiness
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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