im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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