Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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