she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
