so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
