I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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