I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She has the best kind of daddy issues
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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