I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
