Its about making memories worth repressing
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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