I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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