ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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