These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
