I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
