my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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