I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
