the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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