it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
