Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
