Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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