kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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