Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he wants to bone in the snuggie
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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