His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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