i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
