google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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