There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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