you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You are the jesus of drinking
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize