No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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