Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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