Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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