So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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