Got a toothbrush?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
