Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
